Playing “Where’s Waldo” with music and getting off the rollercoaster

I loved in High School reading all kinds of literature and trying to decipher its meanings, both obvious and hidden.  Shakespeare was so fun for me.  Who knows if some of my guesses are what the author intended the reader to absorb from the work; it was kind of like playing Where’s Waldo with each novel or play.  I still do that sometimes with music.  Today’s a good example – I was of course listening to the 80’s station on the radio and Cyndi Lauper’s “Time After Time” came on.  Seriously, I doubt she was thinking of God when she wrote this song, but for me, I can see a parallel there:

“If you’re lost you can look and you will find me, time after time

If you fall I will catch you I’ll be waiting, time after time.”

So, I’ve been so busy this week that I haven’t had a chance to post the results of my CT scan on Friday.  I saw my oncologist on Monday morning, and the first thing he said to me was, “Let’s just cut to the chase; your scans look great.”  The bottom line is that while the CT doesn’t show quantity of disease, it does show size and apparently it appears that if the cancer in my liver isn’t already dead, it’s certainly dying.  My diseased lymph nodes look “significantly” better.  The embolizing agent that was injected back in May is surprisingly still in place, which is another thing along with my chemo that kills the liver cancer.  All good news, if you ask me.

Slightly disappointing was that I got ejected from chemo on Monday because my platelet count is too low.  Not surprising, and the only thing I can do to counter it is to take this week off from chemo to allow my body to make some more, just so they can get demolished again during next week’s chemo.  No worries.  So, about that rollercoaster:  I spent the last week telling myself that no matter what the scan revealed, this was just another day in the cancer fight.  Since this will likely be a lifelong battle for me, I have to keep in mind that whether it was good news or bad news, I need to avoid the emotional peaks and valleys.  Having those huge swings aren’t good for me or my immune system.  That being said, I took Monday’s news in stride and then was surprised at the end of the day how blase I felt about the whole thing.  So, I’m off the rollercoaster for now – I’ve decided that I’ll just go play on the nice even go-kart track, and enjoy the fun turns instead!!

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Mom
    Aug 26, 2010 @ 06:34:24

    Here’s an easy one for you, Harm…

    It must have been cold there in my shadow,
    to never have sunlight on your face.
    You were content to let me shine, that’s your way.
    You always walked a step behind.

    So I was the one with all the glory,
    while you were the one with all the strength.
    A beautiful face without a name for so long.
    A beautiful smile to hide the pain.

    Did you ever know that you’re my hero,
    and everything I would like to be?
    I can fly higher than an eagle,
    ’cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

    It might have appeared to go unnoticed,
    but I’ve got it all here in my heart.
    I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it.
    I would be nothing without you.

    Did you ever know that you’re my hero?
    You’re everything I wish I could be.
    I could fly higher than an eagle,
    ’cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

    Did I ever tell you you’re my hero?
    You’re everything, everything I wish I could be.
    Oh, and I, I could fly higher than an eagle,
    ’cause you are the wind beneath my wings,
    ’cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

    Oh, the wind beneath my wings.
    You, you, you, you are the wind beneath my wings.
    Fly, fly, fly away. You let me fly so high.
    Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings.
    Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings.

    Fly, fly, fly high against the sky,
    so high I almost touch the sky.
    Thank you, thank you,
    thank God for you, the wind beneath my wings.

    Reply

  2. Tiller
    Aug 26, 2010 @ 20:11:38

    There have been many times when it seemed to me that a popular song had a spiritual subtext. I nearly convinced myself that the Moody Blues song “I Know You’re Out There Somewhere” was about a quest for God when it first came out.

    I know you’re out there somewhere
    Somewhere, somewhere
    I know you’re out there somewhere
    Somewhere you can hear my voice

    I know I’ll find you somehow
    Somehow, somehow
    I know I’ll find you somehow
    And somehow I’ll return again to you

    See what I mean? Then there are explicit references to God in popular songs, like Train’s “Calling All Angels”. But I think spiritual people find these references in popular music because they are attuned to spiritual matters. If you are questing after God, then you are likely to see reflections of that quest in everything.

    By the way, I have songs that I associate with all my children, and the song I associate with my oldest daughter is “Time After Time”. It can also be sung as a father’s promise to his daughter.

    Reply

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